So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
