last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she smelled like a LAN party
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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