oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
