but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
