It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
