If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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