idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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