my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
