One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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