Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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