btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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