loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
