Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
