Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
