guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
