Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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