so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
