Her vagina should come with caution tape.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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