Who wears a wallet chain?!
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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