Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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