after a month anything with tits is on the radar
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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