When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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