where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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