New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
