3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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