Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
