the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
