Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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