Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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