My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
A bitchslap is in order.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
