can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
