theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
