Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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