I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
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