cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize