I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
