i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
