I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
