Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Randomize
