While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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