so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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