It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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