i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
