YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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