The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
