Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize