It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
