new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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