doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize