how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
not ubering you a puppy
I would ride that face into the sunset
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
