HIV tests are more positive than that guy
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize