Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
