He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
