Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
