my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he thought i was a dude.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
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