Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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