Screwed.edu
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Randomize
