nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
