I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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