if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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